A few weeks ago, I was at the movies, and I saw a trailer for some new fantasy movie that had the audacity to compare itself with The Lord of the Rings.

I thought “who in the fuck do these people think they are?”

About a second later, an armour-plated, talking polar bear exploded into the frame.

I nearly soiled myself.

So, I went home, googled around, and found out that this movie is based on a book, and the book sounded pretty darn interesting.

It’s set in an alternate universe where John Calvin is elected pope, and the Vatican is moved to Geneva. There’s a sort of “Calvinist Inquisition” going on.

That sounded like somthing right up my alley, so, I read it.

The book was part of a trilogy as it turned out.

I read the whole trilogy.

It rocked.

Brandi read it. She thought it rocked.

Brandi’s parents are reading it now, and they even think it rocks.

You should probably read it too, because it rocks.

All those people who got all freaked out about Harry Potter’s “occult” witchcraft and whatnot are going to shit in their pants when the third book gets made into a movie. Not to give anything away, but let’s just say that the homosexual angels will be the least objectionable part of the story.

Anyhow, It’d be heresy to say these books are are good as LotR, but I can’t really say that they’re a heck of a lot worse.

Also, there are smoking hot chicks that can fly around on broomsticks

You might as well get the books now. That way, when the movie comes out, you can be all smug like me and tell people how the book was “so much better.”

I give His Dark Materials 5 Jihadis out of 5.