Hajj to the Hilltop

Before I became a born-again fundamentalist bicycler, I spent most of my time drinking beer, chain-smoking, and chasing foolish women. Ground zero for all these activities was a tiny little bar on the outskirts of Danville, PA called “The Hilltop.” The Hilltop’s claim to fame was that you could get a pitcher of beer for $1.00, and that they would serve you until you had to hold on to the grass to keep yourself from falling off the earth.

The only downside, back in those days, was that the Hilltop was almost 20 miles away.
Today, however, that is just about the exact distance required by the plan!

I was going to be up in the hometown area anyways today, so I loaded up the Trek and prepared to make the Hajj to the Hilltop.


The topography of the north Susquehanna valley is a little different from what I’m used to around Harrisburg. There were hills. Lots of hills. I was glad to have my lungs clear of funk for some of the tougher climbs.


There it is, the legendary Hilltop!


These are the fabled Secret Bushes of the Hilltop. They were used to conceal public urination, fornication, and regurgitation (sometimes all three at the same time).

My route

I did not account for the amount of water I would consume on this trip, and I ran out. I made it within a mile of the starting point, and my hamstrings cramped up in a nasty way. Dehydration sucks.

Elapsed Time: 03:00:51
Max Speed: 34.8mph
Average Speed: 11.6mph
Distance: 35.1 miles

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