About three and a half years ago, Brandi went to Walmart and liberated a Betta fish from his tiny little dixie-cup prison.We named him François, and he has lived with us ever since. Over his long life, he developed a passion for Opera, and an deep mistrust of cats.

Sadly, the Valkries came this afternoon to call François to a higher purpose. He has crossed the rainbow bridge and is now doing glorious battle in Vallhalla with all the other fallen warriors from history.

Services for François will be held in the bathroom in about 15 minutes. We will by playing his favourite opera at full volume, and the neighbors can suck it.

He is survived by two humans, two cats, and a community tank of four Tetras and two Tiger Barbs.

In lieu of flowers, you may wish to make a gift to the Nature Conservancy, which was François’ favourite charity.