Because I am a flaming nerd, I tend to read a lot of books. Some of them suck in such spectacular ways that I feel it is my civic duty to warn the rest of you, in case you were thinking of reading them. So far this week, I have read two such god-awful stinkers.

Suck ass book #1: New Rules by Bill Maher

I usually enjoy Maher’s stand-up routines, and I even agree with most of his politics, so I was astonished at how badly this book sucked.

Reasons this book sucks:

1. It’s not funny. Maher is first and foremost, a comedian, and the jokes are lame.
2. It took only 2.5 hours to read the whole thing
3. It cost $25.00. That’s $10/hour for entertainment. Not a good bargain.

I give it zero jihadis (and I can’t even be bothered to make up a graphic for that).

Suck ass book #2: Raving Fans

This one sucks so hard that it makes me sad that humanity ever invented writing. I was made to read this book by my mangement at work. That fact alone has me contemplating a new career. Most bathroom-wall grafitti is better written than this piece of shit book.
Judging by the writing style I’d say the intended audience is lobotomized hamsters or maybe MBA students (assuming a meaningful distinction can even be drawn between the two.)

The basic story is that you should do all sorts of over-the-top extra-special nice shit for your customers.

Fucking genius.

It does not, however, discuss how you are supposed to finance all this fancy extra crap. Maybe you are supposed to raise your prices or lower your profits, who knows.

This book is so bad, it should get negative jihadis. Since the opposite of a jihadi is an infidel, I give it 5 infidels, only because anything lower would require use of imaginary numbers and non-Euclidean geometry. And I can’t be bothered to make a graphic for that.

In summary, these two books are utter dog shit, and nobody should read them. Ever.