Investing Your Stimulus: Introduction


Ladies and Gentlemen, in case it has escaped your notice, I would like to bring to your attention the fact that the entire world is rapidly descending into Hell.

Witness the following factors:

  1. The exorbitant price of gasoline
  2. Global warming related crop failures
  3. Governmental issuance of the sum of $600 to each citizen, in an effort to forestall imminent economic doom.

It is my well reasoned and impeccably logical position that the only way 600 dollars is going to solve any of these problems is if it is spent in kitting oneself out as a bicycle commuter.

Failure to do so will bring about a global cataclysm ultimately resulting in the complete, utter, and total annihilation of human civilization.

Over the next few days, I will produce well-researched options for the average citizen to invest his $600 in a manner such as to avoid disaster on a planetary scale.

The well-appointed, all-season bicycle commuter requires the following accouterments:

  1. A bicycle
  2. Fenders to keep wet roads from sullying one’s business attire
  3. A method of transporting cargo (lunch, laptop, etc) to/from work
  4. Clothing for protection from rain and cold
  5. Illumination, for navigation in the dark
  6. Miscellanea; Helmets, patch kits, etc.

We shall examine several options in each of these categories, whilst staying within a budget not to exceed $600.

Global calamity can be postponed, perhaps indefinitely, with the rigorous and regular application of the bicycle commuting wisdom I am about to impart.

Let us begin.

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