Hardcore Zen

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I first got into zen when I was about 16, and lost interest about about three years later, when I started college. Now, at the venerable old age of 31, I’m starting to dig it again. Supposedly, there is a new wave of gen-Y (or whatever) kids who are getting into Buddhism and doing it up right, orthodox style, without LSD shortcuts to enlightenment unlike thier boomer predecessors (and my former teacher). The author of this book is an early gen-Xer so i guess he is kind of bridging the gap.

I picked up this book because I liked the toilet on the front cover. It tells the story of a punk rock musican who becomes a buddhist priest. The author tries to retain his punk street-cred throughout the narrative by describing similarities in Buddhist and Punk thought. The similarities and the author’s punk street cred seem a bit strained at times. Then again, I’m no expert on Punk philosophy, so what the fuck do I know.

It’s a pretty quick read, and doesn’t assume any prior experience with Zen or Buddhism or anything, and it doesn’t get all mystical-new-age-hippie-bullshit on you either. It’s a good book to keep on the back of your toilet, which I bet is why there’s a toilet on the cover.

I give it 4 Jihadis out of 5
4 Jihadis out of 5

Da Vinci Code: Lame

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I finally got around to seeing the Da Vinci Code movie last night. It seemed like it might have been a fun book, but in the end, it was basically the same story as Dogma, only not as funny.I’m generally a big fan of anything that tells people about the shenanigans during the first council of Nicaea, but this was more of the same Magdalene-and-JC-got-married story that I’ve heard a thousand times before.

Big whoop. Maybe Jesus had kids. The Buddha had a kid, and nobody cares.

I give Da Vinci Code 2 Jihadis out of 5.

2 Jihadis out of 5

fifty shekels of silver

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I came across a fairly interesting essay about King Soloman’s selective enforcement of Judaic prostitution laws.In other news… Lots of angry Christians are out generating free press for a movie they supposedly want yout to boycott.

In the immortal words of Captain James Tiberius Kirk:

“Double Dumbass on You!”

Yakkity Yak

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“I am the Susquehanna, thine river. Thou shalt not paddle strange rivers before me.”Thus spake the Susquehanna. But Bonius did not heed her commandment, and indeed he did paddle a kayak upon the Wisconsin river not a week prior.
On the water
Our Heros Depart
Engorged she was, and filled with wrath from a full day’s rain, when Bonius and Klinutus arrived upon her shores. Our heros did boldly place thier kayaks upon her and set forth upon thier journey. Into the fog and rain, they set out in search of adventures, sea-monsters, and big-tittie mermaids.

Ruins
Long-abandoned Masonry

They came upon the ruins of a great civilization, and found a magical land inhabited by glowing white ducks. These were the guardians of the mysteries of the White Deer Hole Creek.

The ducks did quack a strange incantation, which sapped Bonius of all his strength, whereupon he drifted downstream, into the main channel.

A Magical Land
Magical Land

The Guardians
Guardian Ducks

In the fullness of time, came our heros upon the mouth of the White Deer Creek, where the water was swirling and burbling. Bonius turned his kayak into the current and strove to paddle up the creek. The river did spin Bonius around backwards and did speak softly “This is not the way, my child. Turn thee around and paddle the gentler waters in the main channel.”

“I am a great and terrible kayaker” Bonius boasted, “I do not fear thine foolish class I rapids! Bonius called upon Lord Odin, who filled Bonius with the rage of Berserkergang. Bonius didst paddle with a great ferocity upon the snarly rapids.

Lo, but the river did make use of her deep and mysterious magic, and did invert The Order of Things. Whereas Bonius sat at first upon the kayak and the kayak upon the water, now sat the kayak upon Bonius and the water upon them both.

This sucked greatly. Wet and very cold was the water, cold and very wet was Bonius.

On the water
Berserkergang!

Thereby was the reckless pride of Bonius greatly reduced. Bonius paddled meekly for the remainder of the day and did not tempt the wrath of the mighty Susquehanna further.

Bone's Boat
Bone’s Boat

Ooops

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I spent the day touring the inner workings of a highly automated ecommerce fulfillment system. A gigantic warehouse staffed almost entirely by robots.

Holy shit, I live in the future.

Then, someone saw fit to put a brewpub in the parking lot of my hotel. The following comes to mind after a few too many doppelbocks:

Different states of consciousness from the normal are regarded as a form of sickness. And therefore official and institutional psychiatry constitutes itself the guardian of sanity and of socially approved experience of reality

Alan Watts

I reject your reality and substiute my own!

Adam Savage

Do not Take Intoxicants

5th precept of Buddhism

Ooops…

Monastic Podcasts

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I came across a pretty nice podcast the other day. I’ts done by Rev. Kusala Bhikshu. Rev. Kusala is a Buddhist monk who plays a mean blues harmonica and does interviews of other monks and nuns, and talks to Catholic School children about Buddhism.The interview with the Abbott gets into stuff you don’t often think about, like how does the monestary provide health care coverage for the monks?

I’ve always been fascinated by monasticism, especially Buddhist. (Probably watched too many Kung-Fu movies as a kid.)

Anyhow, if you’re into that sort of thing, it’s worth a listen.

http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma9/dharmatalks.html

Long Now

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I stumbled across something pretty interesting. The Long Now Foundation has a buttload of really interesting seminars that you can download and listen to.

Today, I listened to Paul Hawken’s “The Long Green” talk. He talked about several interesting environmental topics. One thing that got my attention was a question from the audience about what it means for a non-religious person to go to the woods and have a spiritual “oneness with nature” type of experience, and whether or not such a thing constitutes a religious experience, (ala Emerson) or if it would be just a spiritual experience, or if there is any difference between the two.

Interesting shit.

Pythagoras and Plato, but not Patrick

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I think I have a sort of strange hybrid of OCD and ADD. I get really, really, obssesive about some arcane subject, but only for a very short period of time, and then I’m swiftly on, obsessively studying some other strange topic.

This is part of why I’m a 31 year old undergrad. I keep changing my major.

Some of my wierd interests have started to congeal into a strange project. I have written previously about Scalable Vector Graphics. I have been having an on-again, off-again interest in them. I have roughly similar interests in pre-socratic philosophy, and in pre-Christian Celtic mythology.

So, I started out with a simple enough idea: I would draw an equilateral triangle in SVG. This got to the essense of why vector graphics are so cool. You draw a triangle, the same way you define one, simply by defining the location of the three vertices.

This got me thinking about Plato. With SVG, you don’t make an equilateral triangle, you make the equilateral triangle. You define the form of the triangle.

This was all very well and good pseudo-bullshittery, but I had to figure out how to tie down my triangle onto a cartesian coordinate system. This turned out to be a bit more complicated that I thought, because the Pythagorean Theorem doesn’t apply to equilateral triangles. I had to beat my head against Google for a while before I remembered that the Pythagorean Theorem could be generalized as the Law of Cosines.

After I figured that part out, it was not a big deal to pin down my verticies.

Behold:

My three verticies
The three verticies with some extra junk.

The reason for the extra dot in the center is that I was reading a tutorial on how to draw Celtic Knots, and somehow figured out that the world-famous triskelle was actually based on the equilateral triangle. Some people know the triskelle as the “trinity knot”. This is a blasphemy. People were drawing these things long before the dark times. Anyways, I digress.

So, I modified my objective. I would now make a triskelle out of SVG.

I tried a few paper sketches, then I make a crude SVG version.

The framework of the Triskelle

Trigonometry is fun.

Now, I had a perfectly minimalist triskelle. It was around this point that I, after staring into the code for about 4 hours, decided that there was great wisdom in Pythagorean Mysticism. Numbers really were the fundamental building blocks of reality.

When you find yourself gaining metaphyical insight from a piece of XML, it is probably a good time to step away from the computer. However, I kept right on going.

My knot was perfect, but it lacked substance. So, I thickened the lines and gave it some color.
I also had to draw the crosshatching which give the illusion that certain parts of the knot are actually underneath other parts.


A triskelle cartoon

Too computer-perfect

This is where I expected to be done with the project, but I didn’t like the way it looked. It looked too perfect, too computer-generated, and too cartoonish. So, I set out to muck it up a bit. Basically, I created a new layer over it, and traced. Then i went through and removed as many nodes on the paths as possible, to try to create a more organic look.

This is what I ended up with:

A triskelle cartoon

It’s finally starting to look like something.

If you are at all interested in any of this foolishness, you can have a look at the final SVG file. Be aware, it’s not 100% pure SVG, Inkscape puts a bit of extra crap in it.

By the way, all these pictures, the SVG file, and all of the photographs on Bonius.com are licensed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 license.

Creative Commons License

Impaler for Governor

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I saw this on Peter Church’s blog...

There’s a guy running for Governor of Minnesota who claims he’s a vampyre. He is running the ‘’impalement’ platform. He intends to impale terrorists and corrupt government officials.

From the campaign site:

I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch.
My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares.

I despise and hate the Christian God the Father. He is my enemy.

Why do Minnesotans get all the cool Governors?!