When I was a little kid, my parents took me to this church for my weekly dose of Christianity and out-of-tune hymn-singing.

Many years have gone by since then, and now almost everyone who went to this church either stopped going, moved away, or got old and died.

The church is a few months away from total fiscal collapse unless someone can think up a good way to put some butts in the pews.

It’s too bad, really, because the building is very cool. It was built in the mid 1800’s on the site of the original log cabin church that was built in the 1700’s (supposedly, the first church in the Buffalo Valley).

There are still a few little old ladies who go to church here, and if their church goes kaputt, they are going to be very sad ladies indeed. So, I’ve been trying to help them come up with clever ideas for how to keep it going.

As you might expect, church stuff is really not my area of expertise.

I suspect that at least some of my readers are church-people. Do any of you have brilliant marketing/recruiting ideas, or know of websites, etc where such ideas might be hiding?

14 thoughts on “Evangelism

  1. Daniel

    Christian rock is cool!!! Get me some young long haired christ screaming rockers and non alcoholic beer any day of the week and I will donate my pension to keep this church going!

  2. Kender

    I was going to suggest start a website….PimpMyChurch.com. Everyday a different faith is celebrated through sponsorship. Today is brought to you by “…” faith. Problem is the domain name is taken by one David Russell…turns out he is a ‘Digital Pastor’. http://davidrussell.org/about It seems even ‘Evangelism’ can be digitized! That’s it I am joining the Amish!

  3. girtong

    Unfortunately this is happening all over…. People are going to the large “non denomination” churches similar to those on TV….

    It is a shame…

  4. I suppose I could go into a whole sermon on this, but to cut to the chase… religion is about relationships, not rules. Once a church figures that out, they usually thrive.

    and yeah, our church is sponsoring a Christian Battle of the Bands.

  5. I was going to suggest that we start selling plenary indulgences to raise funds, but I doubt that will go ever very well, this being a Protestant church and all. 🙂

    Doc, I know you have some first hand knowledge of this stuff, I’d love to hear the “whole sermon” if you have the time.

  6. Klinutus

    You know it is not April Fools anymore right?

    Funny, on “The Blasphemous Bicycler” you mention helping out religion and suddenly everyone is posting.

  7. girtong

    You could start a Ponzi scheme with the bake sales net?

    Offer cash for joining, just keep buying and selling the whoopie pies

  8. sir shot in the dark

    have it declared an historical landmark and then write a proposal to city, county, state and federal (stimulus money, woot!) governments for grants to preserve it.

  9. All of the uber-successful churches I see on TV have a pastor with a penchant for male prostitutes and crystal meth. Maybe you can get one of those guys to run it for awhile until they are in the black?

  10. It sounds like this church needs some good old fashioned tender loving care from people outside the church like yourself. I don’t really know what your spiritual status is, but the fact that you care about is an awesome start.

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